In My Mind’s Blog

I am so happy today…I feel like God has answered a prayer. 

I love my friends, and that’s the truth, so if you’re in my friendster list you know that you’re someone special..ehem! 

Today was the 4th day of my diet & exercise regimen…doin’ well amigos y amigas…i’ve been good.  Also, I found out that I could drink caffeine.  What the hell was I thinkin?  Actually, on the 3rd day (yesterday) I couldn’t take the headaches anymore, so I read the manual and there it was spelled out for me…CAFFEINATED drinks are ok to consume.  Allelujah!!!   So, I made a cup of tea right away.. Earl Grey I love you!!!

I’m still trying to prepare for my Eurotrip…I have to buy some foreign currency…so I checked online…I was gonna do the OANDA.com thing but they want to deliver it to my home which is not good because I’m at work most of the time during the weekdays…so I’m gonna check with Wells Fargo, they seem like they have a better exchange rate anyway, so I might visit one of their branches tomorrow.

My head was throbbing this morning…caffeine withdrawal I bet.  I’ve been on this particular diet for the 2nd day now and I’ve been good but my body is craving for some caffeine…hehe. Not gonna do it.  I know I shall overcome. I’m doing this before my trip next week just to give me a headstart…and I saw my pics lately and I’m beginning to look like a carb face…you know what I’m talking about…it’s when you see your face filling up the whole LCD screen of your digital camera or the photograph itself…yikes!  I know I’m hard on myself.  BTW, I was so happy to have gotten a phone call from Jasmin today.  She was telling me that another classmate of ours, Pia, will be visiting Cali in June.  So another get-together will be scheduled when I get back.  How exciting! Jasmin  also told me that Pia said that the pics she saw of us at our reunion last month were such happy images of us…because I looked like a happy person she doesn’t recognize me from way back then.  She remembered me as being timid and shy.  Anyway, I chuckled a bit and at the same time thought that I’ve come a long way baby. hehe.

I just wanna say that I feel sad for a certain friend’s situation at the moment.  I would like to help very much but due to current circumstances I am not able to.  I wanna kick myself sometimes because if I wasn’t in the predicament I am in, I’d be able to freely assist.  I guess I still could but I’d be risking a lot of things and I don’t know if it would be ok or not.  It’s just such a shame that there are things in life that are sacred yet could be like a prison cell that we voluntarily put ourselves into.  My choice…my fault….no one is to blame.

Hmmmm…..how do I begin?  For a thirtysomething woman like me who still has no child but wanting one, I am constantly reminded that I am not yet a mother on this certain day.  What the freak do people know?  Just because I have no children doesn’t mean I don’t have any motherly instincts.  What does being a mother mean anyway?  I have a mother yet I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything motherly from her…except for the fact that she keeps reminding me that she stayed up all night when I was a baby for the fear that I was going to die. One night when I was a baby, I was having bad convulsions & I was taken to the hospital…you see my mom smoked when she was pregnant and I had an older baby brother that died before me so my dad & mom were scared that they were also going to lose me.  Anyway, I was too young to remember and all I could say is that I appreciate that my mom had chosen not to abort me and that I’m living today.  When in doubt think of something to be grateful for.  Sigh!  I could go on and on about my mother… but anyway, the point of this blog is to remind people that we should also remember to thank the women in our lives who weren’t our mothers but gave their love and concern to us just like an ideal mother would.  If I had to choose the ideal mothers for me it would be my Auntie Debbie and Lola Connie.  They both showed selflessness, unconditional love and fought to bring me and my sis here in the US.  I feel that I owe them a lot and I wouldn’t mind taking care of them when they need senior care.  I have no children but I know that I’d give my life to my nephews, so that they could have a chance to see the world and enjoy it as I have.  Just because they didn’t grow in my womb, I see myself as their second mother because they’ve grown in my heart.