In My Mind’s Blog

When I thought my work world has all gone to hell, I got an email from the Dean herself wanting to chat with me in her office last Thursday.  I thought for a moment if I was in trouble, but I knew in my heart that she knows that our work environment is in shambles and she knew me well enough to know that I am so unhappy. 

Anyway, I went to see her and it was like having a conversation with an old friend (which she was - because she used to be our department chair) .  I wasn’t scared telling her about how miserable I am about the whole deal.  She listened and understood.  Actually, she did confirm the fact that she knows that FAS and I are just not meant to be in the same office.  She also confirmed my suspicion that I did work with a bunch of liars.  Man, it just boils my blood.

The whole point of the Dean meeting with me is to find a solution for our office problem and to keep me and the other staff happy.  She said maybe I need to switch offices within the College and acknowledged that I was a talented employee (you know that lifted my spirits a bit).  Anyway, she said that she might create a position for me with the Dean’s office, or if there are open positions within the College that fits my personality without jeopardizing my classification and salary schedule she’ll keep me in mind.  She even said that she’ll give me a salary increase if any of that happens.

Even if it sounds so good, ofcourse I know not to rely so much on what the Dean just told me.  I just feel better that I had a chance to voice out my opinions to the Dean (the higher power herself).  Anyway, I know something’s going to happen and I just hope that it will make me and the other staff happy.  For now, since the dept. chairs haven’t done any changes yet, I’m stuck doing FAS’s Faculty Search task that she wanted off her plate.  I am very capable of doing it, but when there’s resentment in my heart, I am not very much motivated to take on the new responsibility.  I keep telling myself that this is just temporary but shit I have to do 5 searches and just thinking about it pisses the hell out of me.  Arrrrgggghhh….I hate being consumed by this that’s why I’m venting out on this blog. 

Today I realized that F.A.S. is really a fuckin’ beeyoch to the max!  She is never satisfied with what she has and makes it her mission to create misery whenever possible.  Again, she manages to convince the department chairs to take a big chunk off her plate and pass it on to me and the others.  I’m just buying time…3 years my friends…3 years!  Since I haven’t heard from the other college I applied to, I’ve decided to just take classes while the University’s paying and hopefully get pregnant again and take advantage of the maternity leave program.  I’m also looking into a career change…so we’ll see.  Things might change but for now that’s my plan.

My co-workers and I just tell ourselves that no matter how FAS thinks she’s successful in the office and can get away without doing any work, we know that she doesn’t have what we have and that’s a loving, happy home that we come home to after the workday is done.  She hates her daughter, her daughter hates her back, her husband wants to divorce her and we all know she’s so unhappy with her physical self.  So pitiful but yet (I know this sounds evil) I imagine her choking on a ham sandwich or a piece of rib over the Labor Day weekend.  Damn that Bitch!  Damn her to hell! ( Picture me saying this a la Charlton Heston in the ending of the original Planet of the Apes movie hahaha!).  Dang I really hate that beeyoch!  Sorry for hatin’ but I do.   Aaaarggh!  Don’t worry I’ll get over this.  Just have to let it out.  I’ll feel better later.